smiles’ blog—不列颠

在网上看到了这篇文章，比较有意思，但是比较难翻译出确切意思。

Just a joke

A Dog Named Sex

http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/namedsex.asp

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him “Rover” or “Boy.” I call mine “Sex.”

Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me.

When I went to the City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, “I’d like to have one too.” Then I said, “You don’t understand. I’ve had Sex since I was nine years old.” He said, “You must have been quite a kid!”

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said, “Every room in the place is for sex.” I said, “You don’t understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.” The clerk said, “Me too.”

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I should have sold tickets. “But you don’t understand,” I said, “I had hoped to have Sex on T.V.” He called me a show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, “Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married.” The judge said, “Me too.” Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, “Me too.”

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, “What are you doing in the alley at 4 o’clock in the morning?” I said, “I’m looking for Sex.”

My case comes up Friday.

Squirrel Trouble

松鼠问题

      Claim:   Frozen squirrels have been used for criminal purposes.

                冷冻的松鼠被用于犯罪

      Status:   True.
                真实

      Origins:   While even a cursory study of criminal behavior will uncover instances of animals having been employed as weapons (e.g., snakes used in holdups), in a couple of unusual cases not only have squirrels been wielded by the ill-intentioned, but the critters were frozen ones at that.

起源：尽管一个粗略的犯罪行为研究发现动物被用做武器（比如在抢劫中使用蛇），在一些不常见的案例中，不仅用到了松鼠，而且用到了冷冻的松鼠。

      In 1994 in Lorain, Ohio, frozen squirrels were listed among the tools of trade used by two men and a teenager in their attempts to steal tire rims from a parked car. The trio would fling said frosted rodents at barking dogs to distract the canines from raising the alarm as they worked.

      1994年，Lorian，俄亥俄州，冷冻的松鼠作为工具列入2个成年人和一个少年的购物单，在他们试图从一辆车上偷走轮胎外框时。这个“三人组合”说 在他们“工作”时，冻僵的啮齿动物是用来吸引犬科动物注意力的。

      In 1991, frozen squirrels were used to bludgeon a woman in Sacramento, California. Kao Khae Saephan, an immigrant from Laos, repeatedly struck his wife with six frozen squirrels he retrieved from the family freezer, rendering the poor woman unconscious. (As to why the couple had these rodents in their freezer, it’s because squirrel meat is a component of some Laotian dishes.) The irate husband was jailed on suspicion of spousal abuse, and Mrs. Saephan filed for divorce.

    1991年，在加州，冷冻的松鼠被用棒击一个妇女。K.K.S, 老挝移民，重复的用6个冷冻的松鼠击打他的妻子，直到这个可怜的女人不省人事。松鼠是从他们家的冰柜里拿出来的。（至于为什么这对夫妇会在家用冰柜里放这么多松鼠呢？ 是因为松鼠肉是一些老挝人盘子的组成部分。）这位发怒的丈夫被以家庭暴力的嫌疑关押，而他的妻子也提出了离婚。

      Iced squirrels, by the way, are a menace even when not being used in criminal endeavors. In 2005, British insurance company Norwich Union paid off on an claim for damage done to a vehicle by a frozen squirrel that had fallen from a tree ?the iced rodent crashed through the windshield and landed on the passenger seat.

    顺便说，冻僵的松鼠即使不被用于犯罪，也是一种危险物。2005年，英国的保险公司 N.U. 赔偿了一份由于冻僵了的松鼠从树上掉下来造成的车辆损失，冻僵的松鼠从树上掉下来，砸穿了挡风玻璃，落在了座位上。

The URL for this page is http://www.snopes.com/critters/gnus/squirrel.asp

      Urban Legends Reference Pages ?1995-2007
      by Barbara and David P. Mikkelson
      This material may not be reproduced without permission.
       

         Sources:
            Associated Press.   “Frozen Squirrels Part of Thieves’ Tools.”
            Columbus Dispatch.   16 February 1994.
            Associated Press.   “Man Suspected of Hitting Wife with Frozen
        Squirrel.”
            16 December 1991.
            Birmingham Post.   “A Frozen Squirrel Smashed My Car.”
            7 February 2006   (p. 7).

在系里的resource room的黑板上拍到的。英国也有这样牛的人啊  

I found this in the resource room. fantastic….

 Fidel Castro no longer control Cuba. He has role Cuba as a communist country since 1959,that’s 47 years. Two more weeks, he will get communist to work…………

 Raul Castro, for nearly half a century Cuba’s second-in-command, is now in the top post.   (bbc)

Big Brothers:

With a ceremony “changing of the beard”, his youger brother officially took power.

 You’re getting a Cuba, when you are 75………..( pics from the daily show)

And, who will be the one after Raul?

As the news spread, Cuban expatriates took to the streets of Little Havana, a traditional home of Cuban exiles in Miami, Florida, to celebrate.

And even parties went on.

But anyway, the drink cuba libre will no longer be ironically delicious.

有一个经常旅行的人，非常害怕他乘坐的飞机上藏有炸弹。他计算了藏有炸弹的可能性，虽然这个可能性已经很小了，但是对他来说还是不够小。所以每次旅行时，他总是在手提箱里放一枚炸弹，他这样做的理由是，在飞机上同时有两枚炸弹的可能性是微乎其微的。

五大最愚蠢的英文网址排名，全部是真正的地址。
仔细看每个地址，按照颜色区分的念

5. 一个名叫Speed of art的图像设计网站。
www.speedofart.com

4. 想在家的附近找therapist? Try Therapist Finder!
www.therapistfinder.com

3. 想知道明星名人的代理人吗？到“Who Represents”的网站看看吧。
www.whorepresents.com

2. 专家们交换意见的好去处：Experts Exchange
www.expertsexchange.com

1. 想个性化自己的签字笔吗？来Pen Island就对了！
www.penisland.net

头一个我也开始没看明白，speedo fart 得解释一下，fart是屁股，speedo是一种三角泳裤的牌子，但是非比赛时，在欧美男士游泳都是穿四角的，穿三角的会被人认为是gay。  

Materazzi 到底对Zidane说了什么？

今天bbc报道，根据录像回放，只能看到Materazzi说话 而不能看到Zidane因为他的头背向镜头。BBC的lib reader 说，首先Zidane似乎被推了一下（been pinched on the chest) ，然后Materazzi说了“no”，和“calm down”，然后他对Zidane说 “a liar”“I wish an ungly death to you and all your family”（当天Zidane知道他母亲得了重病），最后是“ go fuck yourself ！”

btw，用头顶用英语说是 head butt，butt本身就有顶，撞的意思（v），同时在口语中butt是buttocks的简称也可以表示屁股，所以，参照场上的情况，我觉得这个head butt可以形象的翻译成“顶了一个屁蹾儿”

楼下的西班牙人搞了个我们经济系的t-shirt，上书：

Economists do it with Models。

嗯，不错，我喜欢这句话。

我能给清洁工多付钱吗
 
英国《金融时报》专栏作家提姆·哈福德(Tim Harford)
2006年5月11日 星期四
 
 
亲
爱的经济学家：

我正要雇一名清洁工帮助打扫房屋。我知道目前的市价是每小时5到6英镑，但那似乎有些低。我是否该多付一些报酬呢？

您真诚的哈里特·特伦特(Harriet Trent)

——————————————————————————–

——————————————————————————–

于伦敦海格特

亲爱的哈里特：

古典经济学认为，你不应这么做。如果清洁工的市价是每小时5英镑，那么这就是你需要支付的数额。只有当你找不到干活的人时，才应该提高出价。

但更富想象力的经济学理论对此持有异议。“效率工资理论”(efficiency wage theory)听上去有些小气，其实恰恰相反。按照这种理论，在登招聘广告的时候，报出每小时10英镑的价钱，以降低员工流失率，增加应聘人数，或许还能促使清洁工更卖力地工作，因为他或她明白，如果被解雇的话，会有很大的损失。从长远来看，可能收效更佳。

近期的实验室研究产生了一种更奇怪的想法：广告上说明每小时5英镑，实际支付10英镑。经济心理学家辩称，这种意外收获会使员工产生感恩心理，并更加努力工作。

如果真是这样，就可以放心地把传统经济学抛到窗外了。不过请注意，别过于看重实验室研究，因为感恩的心情可能转瞬即逝。

经济学家约翰·李斯特(John List)和尤里·格尼茨(Uri Gneezy)最近的一项研究表明，他们雇人从事数据输入或者为慈善团体登门募捐等工作，但付给部分员工意想不到的高工资。与此项实验室工作所预测的一样，心怀感激的员工格外卖力。但李斯特和尤里揭示，这种朦胧的工作热情无法持久——事实上，仅仅持续到第一天午餐时间。

因此，如果你真的愿意支付双倍的价钱，那为什么不雇两名清洁工呢？你可以为创造更多就业岗位而感到自豪，还可以获得更多的成果：竞争总是会带来活力。