smiles’ blog—不列颠

May 24, 2007

an inconvenient truth: by academic writting

Filed under: Diary

论文似乎就是这么炼成的。。。

Research phrase

Translation

It has long been known …

I didn’t look up the original reference.

A definite trend is evident …

These data are practically meaningless.

Of great theoretical and practical importance …

Interesting to me.

While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to these questions …

An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.

Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study …

The results of the others didn’t make any sense.

Typical results are shown …

The best results are shown.

These results will be shown in a subsequent report …

I might get around to this sometime if I’m pushed.

The most reliable results are those obtained by Jones …

He was my graduate assistant.

It is believed that …

I think.

It is generally believed that …

A couple of other people think so too.

It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of the phenomenon occurs …

I don’t understand it.

Correct within an order of magnitude …

Wrong.

It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field …

This is a lousy paper, but so are all the others on this miserable topic.

Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to George Frink for valuable discussions …

Blotz did the work and Frink explained to me what it meant.

A careful analysis of obtainable data …

Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.

A Titanic conclusion was reached …

Two or more events of low probability occurred in the worst possible combination.

Conclusion …

The place where you got tired of thinking.

May 8, 2007

A Dog Named Sex

Filed under: From Web, Jokes

在网上看到了这篇文章,比较有意思,但是比较难翻译出确切意思。

Just a joke

A Dog Named Sex

http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/namedsex.asp

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him “Rover” or “Boy.” I call mine “Sex.”

Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me.

When I went to the City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, “I’d like to have one too.” Then I said, “You don’t understand. I’ve had Sex since I was nine years old.” He said, “You must have been quite a kid!”

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said, “Every room in the place is for sex.” I said, “You don’t understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.” The clerk said, “Me too.”

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I should have sold tickets. “But you don’t understand,” I said, “I had hoped to have Sex on T.V.” He called me a show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, “Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married.” The judge said, “Me too.” Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, “Me too.”

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, “What are you doing in the alley at 4 o’clock in the morning?” I said, “I’m looking for Sex.”

My case comes up Friday.

May 4, 2007

全球化的真正定义! zz

Filed under: Diary

在哈佛的关于自由贸易的辩论上,著名的贸易理论家Jagdish Bhagwati引用的一段话,实在是太搞了,跟大家分享一下:

问题:什么是全球化的真正定义?

回答:戴安娜王妃之死。

问题:何出此言?

回答:一个英国王妃和她的埃及男友在一个法国隧道里发生了车祸,车是装着荷兰引擎的德国车,司机是一个喝多了苏格兰威士忌的比利时人。他们当时被骑着日本摩托的意大利狗仔队追逐,手术是美国医生做的,用的是巴西的药!这些消息是一个德国人传出来的,使用的是比尔盖茨的技术-他是从日本人那里偷来的。现在,你可能正在用某一台克隆IBM的机器读这些东西,这些机器里使用的是台湾造的芯片,韩国人造的显示器,在一个新加坡的工厂里由孟加拉工人组装,由印度人驾驶的卡车运输,中间被印尼人劫持了,由硅谷的码头工人卸下来,然后让一个墨西哥的非法移民开车运送,最后终于卖给了你。

Get free blog up and running in minutes with Blogsome
Theme designed by Jay of onefinejay.com